Emotion Intelligence (EI), also known as Emotional Quotient (EQ) can be defined by five elements: Self-Awareness, Self-Regulation, Motivation, Empathy and Social Skills. To illustrate the importance of EI, here’s an account of a relevant conflict that I encountered previously.
Harry and Ron were friends who had known each other for some time. Coincidentally, the two of them were elected as the Vice President and Camp Director of the Faculty Student’s Club respectively. As Camp Director, Ron’s responsibility was to welcome the faculty’s freshmen with an enriching, fun-filled orientation camp, while Harry was to play an advisory role in overseeing this project. After assembling a dedicated planning committee, Ron worked closely with Harry to deliver the task at hand.
During the orientation camp itself, spirits were high. The excited freshmen always looked forward to the next activity. A grand finale night ended the freshmen’s orientation camp with beautiful memories. The event was a success.
However, things were not going as well within the committee after all the good work. Harry felt that the event closure was not appropriately done. Harry wanted to have an After-Action-Review with the rest of the committee, but Ron felt that an online meeting with key appointment holders would suffice. Ron justified his suggestion in explaining that many of the members had plans for the rest of the summer and would be extremely difficult to gather the entire team. The exchange of words was done via email. When Ron did not respond after a few days, Harry sent a reminder email, with the following words to restate his point;
“Hope this will be the last reminder to you and your committee despite the number of times I have reminded you about the outstanding matters.
As I have said before, an online meeting with only the team heads will not suffice. I am giving you until Wednesday to settle this. Please schedule an AAR with the full committee and let me know of the date.
I heard that you’ve had outings with the team. Meeting up for the AAR should not be an issue right?”
Ron, checking his mail a few days later, felt that Harry was being inflexible and sarcastic in his reply. The matter was then escalated to the Student Club’s president.
What would you do to resolve the conflict if you were the Student Club's president?
Wow, yours is a tough one. I would hate to be in the President's shoes in this situation.
ReplyDeleteBut with all that said, I think the President has to side with the Vice. After all, the VP is overseeing the project and has the right to call for an AAR, even if others don't like it. Of course the VP shouldn't have used those words or even the bolding (did he bold the paragraph?) since it sends out an incredibly negative tone to the reader.
Since Harry and Ron have known each other for some time, then they should have taken time out to talk face-to-face instead of only corresponding via email while arranging the AAR/online meeting. Then again I can't fully comprehend a situation like that unless I'm in it (which I don't want ever).
Anyway your second picture is really nice, is it from your own collection?
Samuel
If I were the Student Club's president, I would encourage them to have a face-to-face conversation to solve their conflict in a peaceful way, in order to save their friendship. In general, I think that friends should avoid working in the same company or association, because conflicts are inevitable, and it is better to have a conflict with someone you barely know than with a close friend...
ReplyDeleteHi Bernard,
ReplyDeleteI felt that this conflict could be avoided if both parties had communicated better with each other. I feel that since they both had disagreements with the way the After Action Review should be carried out, one of them should have taken the initiative to meet up or at least call the other party. In this case, I felt that Ron should have called Harry and explained to him his point of view and the reason for having the AAR online rather than in a meeting situation. Not responding to the email sent out by Harry only served to agitate Harry as he was not kept in the loop about whatever that was going on. However, I feel that Harry was overly aggressive in the email that he sent out to Ron and the right thing to do would be to chat over the phone or coffee to sort out the issue at hand.
Cheers
This scenario is very well described, Bernard, with clear, concrete details. You also infuse it with a good sense of drama, and you contextualize it with the intro on EI. Finally, you pose a clear, appropriate question, which has spawned good feedback. Thanks for the fine effort!
ReplyDeleteThanks Brad for the positive comment!
ReplyDelete@Samuel:
Yes, it's a picture from my personal collection. Liked the vibrant colours and wanted to portray the enthusiasm in the camp!
As you mentioned, the VP did bold the message in his email. I do not agree with you on the part of the Pres having to side with the VP. As the leader, I feel that he should remain neutral and acquire an understanding of the situation before he chooses to take sides. Choosing to side the VP without understand will only aggravate the situation, and that was exactly what happened. The Pres was quick to direct blame on the Camp Director and that really damaged the relationships between the parties involved.
@Nesrine
I have to disagree that friends should avoid working together. After all, at the workplace, it would be strange to maintain a strict working relationship. Often, our colleagues are our friends as well. In fact, I find that understanding the working styles and personalities of your friends prevents conflicts and allows conflicts to be readily resolved.
@Ramandeep & Samuel & Nesrine
I agree with both of you that a face to face meeting would have prevented the conflict from escalating. A phone call would have sufficed too. It baffles me that a pair of friends have to communicate through lengthy emails when a phone call could have resolved the matter much earlier. I feel that had the VP explained the reasons for the need of the AAR instead of demanding for it, the problem might not have existed too.